Forget Blacktop Put-downs; Now Bullies beach Taunt in Text
A new type of bully is strutting the black top and for some kids home is no escape. Cyberbullying happens when a child is tormented, threatened, humiliated, or targeted via the Internet, emails, instant messaging, cell phones, web pages, blogs or chat rooms.
There was a time when a child could escape from the abuse on the streets or in the schoolyard and findrefuge in the home. That is no longer possible.
According to Christine Fazio, a media education consultant and this month's Coffee Break speaker, "we are losing our humanity given that there is no voice, no facial expression, no voice tone, and no visual contact when cyber-bullying takes place."
Laguna parents who missed Fazio's talk have a second chance to learn about Internet predators from a sheriff's deputy on June 12 at a free 7 p.m. talk at the Woman's Club, St Ann's Drive.
Cyberbullying cases are on the increase and putting kids at risk for harassment, abuse, and even self-destructive behaviors. A Missouri woman earlier in May was indicted for her alleged role in a hoax on the social networking site Myspace against a 13-yearold girl who later committed suicide. The unprecedented case is scheduled to go to court in June.
Fazio addressed how and why cyberbullying happens, and what parents and schools need to know.
The difference between traditional bullying and cyberbullying is anonymity. Bullying in cyberspace can come from anyone, even a best friend. It occurs in a setting that lacks supervision and observation and is viewable only by the sender and recipient. Since there are often no visual cues, the message can be harsher and less inhibited.
Kids say things on the Internet that they never would have the confidenceto say directly to another person. Cyberbullying may include spiteful teasing, abusive language, intimidation, threats of violence, sexually suggestive language, and malicious rumors. It becomes criminal when there is a threat to harm or kill. Even though kids can be advised to change their email, phone number, or get a service filter, the publishing of defamatory material on the Internet, often photos, is difficultto prevent. Once posted, thousands can see the material before it is removed.
Parents intervention might involve telling kids that they are being set up and not to respond in kind because role reversals can happen quickly. It is not advisable to bring emotions to the computer, but to deal with more intense feelings in person or with a letter. If a message has threatening content, it should never be deleted.
Fazio recommends a school policy that reserves the right to discipline a student for actions that adversely affect the well being of another student at school. This policy should be contractual and focus on educating students about cyberbullying and its consequences. The police need to be contacted when it is believed the harassment's origin is from an adult.
Fazio recommended keeping computers in view, and not in bedrooms; to search for members of the family on Google; to know your child's passwords, and buddy list; to discuss cyberbullying and its consequences; to communicate with school and police when necessary; to talk to the parents of the cyberbully, and share a copy of the print-out, if possible.
Kids are encouraged to calm down before responding to someone and to not give away personal information, especially one's password to anyone except family. If feelings are hurt, findout how and apologize. Remember, Google searches are routine for job applicants, so consider any online actions. Let parents or someone at school know if a cyberbully makes threats. Redding, Ph.D. is a clinical social worker and psychoanalyst with a private practice in Laguna Beach.
