Mothering Heights
I recently got a job writing about fashion for a monthly magazine, which is quite laughable, especially to my bus stop moms who know my true sense of style--pajamas layered with leggings, giant sweaters and slippers that rarely match. True, I have always had a unique style, but whether it has been fashionable is the question.
Just ask my mother about the squirrel dress. At the important age of 10 years old, I insisted that she buy me the most important fashion item of my life: a maroon polyester shirtdress adorned with light brown squirrels. Believe me when I say it was beyond groovy. Unfortunately, my mother did not agree. The battle was so heated that she placed me on a clothing allowance, so that she would never have to take me shopping again.
Yet there I was in New York City last month with an invite in hand to attend a Fashion Week show for BCBG/MaxAzaria. In the middle of our family vacation, my husband's cousin, a bra and panty designer, had scored me a ticket the night before the show. Complete panic overcame me as I stared at my dirty travel wardrobe. There was no time to buy, clean or rearrange. The black bodysuit, long shorts and silver ballet slippers would have to do the job.
Arriving a few minutes before 10 (yes, that is A.M.), I ran into the tent marked Mercedes Benz Fashion Week where I bumped into a mommy friend from Laguna Beach! Surprised to see each other dressed up and childless, we shrieked like long lost friends. And as fate would have it, I had an extra ticket so she was able to join me for my first fashion show. A true fashionista, she pointed out all the important people like Nigel Barker from "America's Top Model" (gorgeous!), Jamie Lynn Siegler from "The Sopranos" (Meadow, are you alive?) and Vogue's editor, Anna Wintour.
Queen Anna sat in the front row of the first half of the runaway. Sporting a flowery shift dress and her Louise Brooks bob, she seemed chatty and friendly with her peeps. That is until the lights went down and it became just like "Sex and the City." A quiet hush came over the crowd. Queen Anna donned her sunglasses and frozen expression. Loud thumping music played as the super skinny models strutted down the runway wearing jumpsuits and dresses in neutral black and gray with an occasional pop of orange or electric blue.
While the toga-esque clothing was fun, the best show was watching the Queen and her various head turns. Some models got a full turn as she watched them walk from the front of the runway. Others got a mere glance as they walked past her. Searching for a pattern, I found none. How could I? Every model looked like Gwenyth Paltrow. Even the Asian and brunette models had an ironed hair-pale-please-feed-me-a-steak look.
And within a flash, the show was over. Max Azaria came out and took a bow. Everyone stood, not for a standing ovation, but to rush towards the exit. I quickly lost track of Queen Anna. She most likely escaped through her secret hatch. My girlfriend and I took pictures and made promises to have a scrabble play date back in Laguna.
As I was leaving the fashion scene, a woman standing nearby gave me the once-over.
"Gorgeous," she said. I look around, not sure whom she meant. Her stare continued.
Like a squirrel hoarding nuts, I decided to take it. "Thank you," I replied. I could use a good dose of fashion love for my upcoming bus stop winter show.
Mothering Heights is going monthly and will be back in print Oct. 31. Stay up to date by visiting MotheringHeights on Laguna Blogs and Links at www.lbindy.com. Christine's new book, "The Mothering Heights Manual for Motherhood, Volume 1: What we wish we knew before becoming a short order cook, shuttle driver, laundress Mother" is available at Laguna Beach Books, Latitude 33 and amazon.com.
